The Ultimate Hostage Taker: Fear

If you never do anything else for yourself, follow your own dreams, no matter what. 

  • For about the last 7 or so years I have been torn in half about my career, I make good money, love the people I work with and hate the work itself. I thought by becoming more educated in the field that I would love the work more, the more I understood the work the more obviously distant I was becoming from myself, my own beliefs and what I really wanted. Knowing more did not make me like it more.
  • I continued to work on, hoping my heart would change about this career, I had an investment and to quit now was to fail. I had financially trapped myself into an obligation that became a larger deception of myself to myself every single day.  I became depressed.
  • Then logic kicked in, four years slipped by and I was only 60% vested into my retirement and pension, now I was hostage to money, what I would lose if I quit now. Wasting my own time investment if I quit now. Taking less for the hated career, now I felt like I had already quit but I could not leave.
  • I worried about who would be shocked if I just resigned, after all they all thought I was so good, they told me so. But they never called unless I was being extremely beneficial to them financially, otherwise I did not exist. In reality they were not even colleagues. I truly dislike my job. I don’t hear from anyone, only see them when I attend a meeting, I seek them out. Why worry about this, they will not know the difference. 
  • Resolving in my-heart and mind that no one would notice if I left my job was a hard reality, no one was there when I was, they only used me for their own personal gain, and never had a notice for anything any other time. 
  • Attitude was never ever going to make me fit into the career that was not a fit to start with. And why was I here? I wanted to please others they asked and I wanted to please them so I said yes, without even really knowing what I was getting into, or even the kind of work I would be doing, it took me a while to figure out that I hated the process, and the career. But like everyone out there I needed the money. The ultimate hostage taker. 
  • So I started asking myself and acclaiming to myself who my true self is:   Who are you I would say? I am a child of God, Talented and willing to seek out the path he has planned for me. The fact that I was so unhappy has been evidence that I was not following his internal Guidence.  What can I do and how? 
  • I decided to make some decisions: 
  • The actions and activity I create in my life will determine where my life goes.
  • I am accountable for my own accountability.
  • I will humbly serve, nothing I ever do will be dependent on another persons approval, I am not a slave.
  • I seek wisdom, I read and learn from others, If something does not feel right in my heart, it is not right anywhere in my life. My own personal growth frees me from the daunting reality of my present condition, I will seek out and learn from those who inspire me, and no one else.
  • Only I can create the success I desire, my quick decisions lead to victory, complacency breeds discontent and anguish, I make my decision quickly and don’t look back. 
  • It is better to be alone and believing in what you are doing than to live in boring mediocrity. I will not give up on my own dreams. I have the courage to leave the JOB, to have the career of my dreams. 
  • Failure only exists if I live in complacency to please others, My success will never depend on the opinions of others. I will move forward.
  • I have a decided heart, it is only indecision that holds me back, nothing will stop my dream of living in a new career, free of the corporate mediocrity that has stolen my sole. I will not wait, I will move quickly and never look back, freedom is near!
  • I will leave the uselessness of this mistake behind. I do forgive myself, I have set myself free. I have charted a new course that I am passionate about, with a passionate heart not one can change my mind. 
  • I know what I want and where I am going. I have a decided heart that knows the dream that God wants me to persue, my destiny is secure. 
  • I chose to be grateful and not complain,enough time has been wasted and gladly move on. 
  • I use my time wisely and have no fear, fear will not rule my life, or my lifestyle. 
  • I will chose to be happy, no turning back.

“Fear is a poor chisel to carve out tomorrow.” Otto Frank to his daughter:   Anne Frank

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